The Batcave
by Versapellis13
Summary: Dean gets board and finds a place to hide his porn and stuff. Reviews may make longer.


Dean found himself cleaning the bunker, poking around, bored. looking for something to do, something to distract from the underlying rising tide of mal intent and irritation the mark burned in him. Like a addict looking for a anchor to reality or a spinning dancer looking for a point in the room to focus on around the blur dean needed something to do so today it was looking for hidden rooms, stashes, safes, Anything new.

dean had tapped Sam and Cas of interaction for the day without seeming overtly needy. Maybe dean could attempt to play cards with Cas again, the angels poker face was stunning. But clingy dean, It made them worry which made them annoying.

dean looked behind paintings, looked for unaccounted space between rooms, knocked on the walls looking for notably different sounds, looked down vents, carried a stick around the whole place tapping the floor looking for different sounding spots.

Dean had done this before, found some interesting stuff, one of the men of letters had a stash of some pills labeled black beauties. Dean thought to himself next time he was in the past he would stock up, if time travel presented itself again. He just was so invigorated that day.

Dean stopped by Sam's room and switched all of Sam's underwear with Cas's, and as a fun finishing touch threw in a lacy something in both Sam's and Cas's switched underwear drawers. Dean made his own fun, and so he gave up a few trophies for the joy of it.

Dean pursed his lips examining a pair of undies from Cas's drawer, comfortable… perhaps... dean was sure there was a valid and probably technical reason Cas owned a pair of boy shorts in women's cut. Perhaps just a misunderstanding in title "dean why would they indicate they were boy shorts if they were not for males" dean smiled imagining Cas's explanation.

Dean tucked the undies in his pocket, so as not to push his joke too far dean assured himself. Not because he was going to keep them or anything, nope.

What now. Dean considered unscrewing the cap of the salt in the kitchen, but Sam had taken to just checking it before using it. Dean looked up, he had never tested the ceiling. Dean poked the hallway up and down the bedroom quarters poking the ceiling in each room and in one spot his stick just went right through, the ceiling rippling like water.

Dean took the stick out and it settled into just ceiling. "hell yes!" dean looked at the door it was in front of he suspected it was the magician rejects room, dean had already gone through the stuff in this room.

Honestly some of the stuff just screamed that this was the magician rejects room. Dean stood on the bed and tenitivly stuck a finger up to half joint through, clenching his eye closed half expecting pain or loss of finger tip.

Feeling nothing dean considered for a moment. Dean sent a text to his brother as a beforehand thought 'if your lookin for me I'm in room 54'.

because honestly who knew what would happen, except not being bored. Dean felt nothing of note then reached in deeper and felt a handle or something, a ladder shot down to the bed. Dean flinched away in instinct.

Dean considered it "this is going to end badly isn't it?"

but that was a alternative to boredom… Dean climbed the ladder poking his head through the ceiling he saw what looked like a poorly lit hallway with a open safe with a key in it.

Dean crawled into the apparent pocket dimension and poked the walls and ceiling and such with his trusty stick looking to set off any traps, to test the stability of the dimension.

To reassure himself that he was not walking into a vat of stupid by being cautious.

Deans phone buzzed and he cursed fumbling for it 'what did you find?' dean considered for a moment

. Now at the safe dean saw something that made him grin like a bastard. Ah the magicians porn stash, whatever else had been in the safe had long been removed. Texting Sam back 'eh turned out to be nothing'

Dean grabbed the stack and appreciated flipping through and tossing offhandedly, vintage, classic, cheesecake, ooh hand drawn, and now what is this?

Little peepshow slides, dean held some up to the light, some beach, dirty circus acts, and native American women.

Dean grinned "aw you dirty dog" dean smiled. Deans grin fell away.

Dean shuddered remembering the reject wanting to keep dean as his pet in his zoo. 'eurgh no thank you" dean imagined himself chained in a cage with a tiger in background as the picture he looked at, "nope" dean threw the stack and even as it fluttered down dean surmised it was not the porn's fault its former owner was so creepy.

Dean reached down and sorted "don't worry guys, ladies, daddy will treat you right"

Dean found himself sorting what he wanted to keep from what he didn't and descended the ladder with what he didn't want.

Now dean didn't really consider himself the nervous type but he didn't want to be caught with a armful of porn walking down the hallways and every fiber of deans being buzzed with alert as he walked down the hall.

These were going to be burnt because he didn't not want these found in the trashcan.

But then Winchester luck was never that good, dean heard castile's footfalls and fled down a hallway. Ducking into a room dean cursed to himself.

Dean torn wanted to pray in irony that a angel would not catch him a armful of vintage porn and also wanting to do anything but hope or pray lest he be heard by said angel in anyway.

Dean made it to the incinerator but really his relief at closing the outdated trash disposal door was barely worth the nervous trip to it.

Castile wandered down a hallway looking for dean Cas wanted deans help in the kitchen. The man had insisted Cas find him if he wanted to try anything new cooking wise.

Cas's eyes were drawn to a break in the carpeting's pattern, a small card. A man in a red apron and nothing else leaned against a stove. "wish you were here" scrawled in cursive Cas flipped the greeting card over, nothing written on it.

Cas tilted his head feeling for deans direction dean was here recently. Was this his? Cas considered the card "hmm" flipping it around looking for answers Cas walked past the room he was sure dean was in he continued walking past it interpreting deans palatable nervous increasing at his approach as dean desperately not wanting to be found.

Cas considered that a cornered dean was usually a toxic dean and didn't even look at the door behind which he could feel the man giving off waves of light panic and shame. Maybe dean was looking at embarrassing porn again, it would explain the card and the nervous emanating from dean. Cas shook his head and closed off his perception of their near psychic bond by just not focusing on it. Cas smiled to himself at the nature of things working together and tucked the greeting card in his pocket Cas headed to deans room and tossed the card on the floor there. It was deans most likely and the content was appropriate, Cas did need help in the kitchen and dean was otherwise occupied. Cas considered a music player on deans nightstand for a moment scrolling through the tittles Cas wondered if there was a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell was that just pessimistic ideology on expected traffic pattern? What weird was dean into now, Cas sighed and missed being able to hide out of dimension and watch deans various off-time adventures, they were entertaining.

Dean wandered the way back up to the main room Sam called from the couch "what's in room 54?" dean made himself not halt his step "nothing" before Sam could follow up with further questions "hey I'm headed out you need anything?" Sam considered for a moment, "uh t.p,… uh some ground beef and some bread." Sam narrowed his eyes at his brother and stated in a tone that left no room for discussion "whole wheat dean" then settled back into the book he was reading. Dean spun his keys and with a careless over the shoulder wave of 'got ya' was gone.

The next day the safe was fuller by far, and a papasn chair sat in the hallway, a new light bulb in the hallway, and the hallway itself covered in less than tasteful posters.

The chair was the difficult thing to sneak in, but dean had managed.

Dean had never dared to own sex toys in the years traveling with his brother to avert embarrassment ,dean found himself erasing the search history in his cell phone sitting in his car in front of a sex toy store.

Posters and pornographic magazines were something he was used to but this was new for dean. Dean considered himself a man who would not balk at anything, snarling squalling swirling doom in his face, nah. Maybe a girl with a knowing look in her eye and a assortment of unknown in a trunk by her bed, nah he's been there done that. Chained in hell in screaming swirl lost between moral failing and any distraction from falling apart, sure.

But twiddling useless with his phone dean found himself unable to make himself get out of his car. He had made eye contact with one of the employees inside and she had raised a brow at him in acknowledgment.

Well she probably had seen this sort of behavior before from lesser beings than dean. Dean self depreciated for a moment and forced himself out of the car and into the building.

Dean felt a cold spurt of …apprehension… spiral up as the lady behind the counter walked up to him "first time sweety?" dean blushed to himself "not by far" dean swallowed and gave a winning smile which faltered

"first time buying for myself though" dean found himself fidgeting his pocket and stilled himself.

The girl looked at dean and with a "follow me" dean found himself led around a store learning names for things he had not heard of, correlating acts done on him with vague memories and nodding yes and no in a blushing swirl that passed with such quickness and efficiency his mind swirled lost. Deans mind swirled in half lost appall and intrigue as he took in a string of tools set out on a leather case "sounding equipment" he had been informed. Oh. Well dean was sure that it was the sort of baseline idea that was used mostly improperly on him his time in hell once or twice. No thank you, and not for that price tag either.

But now dean was the owner of one very expensive pocket pussy some fancy lube and a vibrator and a cock ring "the basics" he had been informed. The service clerk had been overhelpfull and dean had nodded yes too much, and was in a daze after he got in his car "what the hell just happened?" dean rifled through his bag and swallowed. Dean glared at his crotch which had been misbehaving about the whole event. Turning up a tune and cranking his car to life dean felt a red sting across his face as the car rumbled a happy note in his lower regions. Dean threw the bag in the backseat and turned up the music further and tore off out of the parking lot. A grin half surprised as the rumbling car made dean squirm a bit. On the main road dean found himself utterly distracted. Somewhere from the dirtier part of his mind a idea shot through and dean headed away from the bunker a thumb swirling on a jean clad hardon. Abusing the highway a bit dean swerved in and out of traffic taking a on ramp dean noted a small damp that had formed at the head of his jean clad dick. Dean blushed to himself. Turning down a back road covered in rock dean unzipped and pressed the gas. The tires spun and a bird took off alarmed from a nearby tree to a baritone "whoooo!" was heard. Tearing up and down the road dean spun the car into drift at one end and tore back up the road the rocks rattling the frame of the car and rocking all of dean who was having a hard time concentrating on the road and started to do doughnuts in fast rocky circles spinning the car in a tight circle wheels kicked up a blurry dust and ground out gravel ruts, a overloud music drown out deans cry of orgasm. But if anyone had been around to see the man as the smoke dissipated and he reached out with a shaky cum covered hand to turn off the music it would have been obvious the shake in the movement. Dean cleaned his hands and any stray bits, patted the wheel still huffing a bit in affection. "don't worry baby your still my favorite."

Dean stocked the safe when he got back, and with mind aswirl with less than savory plans for later set the lube with ceremony on top of the safe.

Getting back to his room dean picked up a card on the floor just under his bed flipping it over dean took in the sight of a man leaning against a stove. A echo of Sam complaining in his ears 'Cas cant cook for shit dean' and the smoky smell from the main room a few days ago. Dean was processing all this when his hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. "wish you were here" the card read dean paled, did the angel know about the room? A red creeped up deans neck around his ears and even as self control attempted to keep it from his cheeks a slow roll of red crawled across.

"sonovabitch"


End file.
